Sad News....

Not many of you probably know this, but I've been having some health issues recently. I've had tons and tons of blood tests. They've tested every hormone possible, my thyroid (twice), my blood sugar, insulin (I had a 3 hour glucose test), different vitamin levels, and even a progesterone test. I went back to my specialist to get my lab results and I have a serious Vitamin D deficiency, I'm hypoglycemic, and I have some insulin resistance. He says all this explains why it isn't easy for me to lose weight, why I'm so exhausted all of the time, and one reason why I feel so depressed. I had another follow-up appointment with my Reproductive Endocrinologist on Wednesday. I have a large Ovarian cyst that I've been trying to get rid of through hormone suppression therapy for the last 3-4 months. I found out that the cyst is still there.

I also found out the reason why I'm in excruciating pain every month. Why I stay up at night crying. Why even Ibuprofen 800 won't touch my pain. Dr. Michael Fox (yes, that's his name) told me that my uterus is twice it's size. He also informed me that I have Adenomyosis. Adenomyosis is basically endometriosis inside the uterus. He also says that my cyst is an endometrial cyst, and that my endometriosis is probably everywhere, not just inside my uterus. My surgery has not been scheduled yet, but I will be having Laproscopic surgery to take care of my cyst, endometriosis, as well as my adenomyosis.

Colten is even more of a miracle that I originally thought. My future of having any more children is uncertain at this point. It's not completely impossible, but it's not terribly likely either. I am devastated that I might not be able to ever give Colten a sibling. I am devastated that I might not ever give my husband more children. I am devastated that I might not ever feel a baby kicking inside of my belly. I am devastated that I might not ever get to hear my baby's first cry. I had two days where I just cried all day. I cried at the baby names that I already had picked out (Which will stay top secret, by the way! You never know!)

All I can do at this point is pray that God lets me know what the right thing to do is. He has a plan for me. I am so grateful that no matter what happens, I have at least one child. One glorious, beautiful, amazing child.